things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
