Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
