Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
