We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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