I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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