I look better un-naked...
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
