Pregnant stripper...not hot.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
