I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
