We won't sleep together?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
