Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
