Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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