I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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