You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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