she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
