i don't like sucking hair
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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