your thong is hanging out like whoa
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
