rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
