How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
