as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
