Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize