I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
