In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
