So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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