Hey man sorry I got all grabby
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
