Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
