I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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