return my video game
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
