If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
party gras won. party gras always wins.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I AM VODKA MAN
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
