just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
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You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
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Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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