so that wasnt chicken after all
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
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the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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