he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
