We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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