I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Randomize
