the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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