I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
