like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
sarcasm needs its own font
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize