I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
