If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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