Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
