so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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