I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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