Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
