There is no way he is gay with that hair.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
