I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
