Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
