If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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