This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
