My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
