So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
