i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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