walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize