to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
