Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
