yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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