i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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