i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
