Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
