i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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