We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
