No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
