i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize