I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
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