I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
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The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
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I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
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